Sixth of April

It was the last lesson with Zela today.
We talked a lot of things together since we met.
She is not only English teacher but also my friend in Whangarei.
When I talk with her I feel I am a just normal woman.
I was thinking I am a quite unusual woman as a Japanese, but I am actually not in overseas. That is really good.

It is time to change the relationship with my daughters.
As Zela says, they need to grown up, and I need to tell it to them.
It is tough but it is a one of mother's work, probably.
I have been thinking that I want to quit mum since I came to New Zealand.
Coming to NZ was just happened, but maybe it has important reason.
Mother leaves her daughters at far place is not usual, however I could not stay in Japan longer. I had to leave.

I think my leaving was right.
Although I wanted to leave from everything that bothered me in Japan.
I thought when I left from everything, I could start new life in new place.
My oldest daughter said that I escaped from everything.
But I could not stop. I am always looking for new place and things.
It was a bit different from escape, it was like a challenge.
However I cannot make an excuse, then I should find some better things.

(I have no time to wire, I mean no time to think about anything right now, so I will write some later. I think I always say so.)