Tuesday, August 24, 2010

English writing for example form a magazine

This year Facebook announced that 500 million people were now registered on its social networking site,Such sites enable health professionals and consumers to participate in interest groups, network, campaign, and share information, However , along with these benefits, there are potential risks for all users. As the Privacy Commissioner states; "Our communication have changed -but our awareness hasn't caught up yet". This article aims to raise awareness among New Zealand nurses and reminds them of their responsibilities regarding personal and professional behavior, patient confidentiality, and professional boundaries.  

Facebook anounced this year they have 500 million people in there. That site, health professional and others can join to some interest groups, network or campaign, and they can share the information. However, as benefits, all users have risk of potential. According to P.C. states, "Our communication have changed-but our awareness has not changed yet." This article reminds us about our responsibilities, protect people and professional attitude, confidentiality and professional ------(I do not know this word=boundaries)

Above article is from a magazine, below is mine. Compare two writing, people can see the difference. The problem is how can I improve my current writing to like above one. What can I do...??? It has only a way that read many many writings, I think. And learn the way of expressions and learn how to use new words.
I was thinking about read more books, but I could not find what kinds of book, writings are good for improve my writing. The answer is "EVERYTHING" Oh! no. Takes time, just takes time. 

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