I feel I am stupid

We are middle fifty's and most of people of our age have their stable life.
But we are still floating like a driftwood on the shore or in a river.
And we could never find our place to end up.
Since I was a kid, I have been moving a lot and always hoped to stay in a same place like others.
Live in my nice own house, have my own garden even it is small, spend a comfortable dairy life and daughters and grandkids visit me...something like that.

However no our kids visit us and we are still keep moving.
We don't have our own house (it does not have to be a house, own place is fine).
I think we are not adults yet, still our mind are like kids and we don't know how to settle in a calm and peaceful life, why??
Call us unorganized people.
We have not had our own life plan even though my darling wants to earn more money.
My minimum hope is live in a happiness, eat nice food, been healthy, sometimes traveling around and have a lot of laugh with my family.

I think we are both awkward about family relationship.
That is why we live in overseas otherwise we were in our home countries.
So it is probably our destiny...hmm...not good.

I don't know this is a good thing or not but today I was a bit embarrassed when my Canberra friend cut our phone call.
Of course, she is not a perfect person but she is together with her partner since she was 18 and she has lived here since then as well.
I have known a lot of people like her. Do we call those person "Adults"?
And we are "Stupid kids" if we are keep moving.
I don't want think so...

Not many people can moving around everywhere.
And both kinds of people hope they are right.
Anyway, I was embarrassed myself a bit today.
It may because of my own personality, I mean it is my fault.
People around me might discover that I am TOO positive.
Too positive sometimes means inconsiderable.

However although I made my life plan, it is always broken somehow.