Recently

Recently I have been busy and a bit tired.
I am making Christmas presents for my daughters, I have to practice songs for the Christmas concert hard, and what...?

I am thinking about many things. For example, face soap, moisture, earring,my daughters, traveling, my darling's citizenship, and my further work, etc.
I do not know why I do not have enough time to do everything.
I used have time to do something although I was a full time worker.
Probably I used my sleeping time for the things that I wanted to do.

However, now I need eight hours sleep to keep my health. I can not believe how have I been unhealthy than before.
Not unhealthy, maybe lazy, or get tired easy.  I am always thinking about some exercise, but I CANNOT. I am so weak now. Maybe from menopause?
And maybe all of them are my excuses? But it is true that I am very tired.
How can I get my strengths back?

I might do too much focus to my family now and I have been left my significant others who is now sleeping in the bed earlier than me.. 
But it is the time to sort my family problem, I think.
I really really want to keep good relationship with my family. I have keep broken it for a long time, and when I realized I live far away from them, I just started to think about it.  
I do not want to be like my mother, never.
I had not known about her at all, and I do not want my daughters to be like me.
I want to talk with them more until I died.
Not such further plan, if possible I want to eat meal or go out with them again.
And I hope my darling will be include in those events, too.

I am not sure but I also did not like mum's new family and I felt isolation all the time. Yes, I might wanted to talk with my mum more.
I want to know what was she look like, I mean, her character, her life, her point of view and more. She was very clumsy and lonely person, I think.  And gave it up to talk with us. But I do not want to give it up with my daughters.

One day, we will gather and enjoy chatting with whole family like my darling's family, I hope. And we will make a lot of memories, I mean a lot of fun.
I am sure, our like should be full of laughter. No loneliness, no solitary any more.