Christmas time

I have not written this blog for a long time, I feel.
I was busy for many things; singing, parties, shopping, cleaning, washing...

We had rain last ten days and eventually we had the sun today!
So I had to do a lot of washing. Our house was humid and yucky!
And we had heaps of ants on the kitchen counter, then I bought an ants killer liquid for $27! but I did not have to use it. Most of them went back to their nest.   

I still have some problems about my oldest daughter and a bit with my youngest.
I hope they will understand me one day.
I realized that I have not given any mentally help for them when they wanted.
No, I gave some, I am sure, there were but not enough for them.
Am I a bad mum? I have just not known HOW TO LOVE my significant others. 
Those from my mother, however I have lived for more than fifty years, so I cannot say so, although it was mother's (not only mum, my parents) fault.

I need to find myself how to love my important people.
My oldest said " DO you know how do you make me happy?" No I do not.
I have to think about that, it is my weakest point, I mean I am not good at thinking how to make people happy.

Anyway, it is Christmas time now, and I first realized it is the biggest event for Christian. I had never known that! It is same as "NEW YEAR event" in Japan.
People prepare many presents and food for their family and friends who come over from near and far places. I remembered about Japanese New Year and got a little bit home-sick.

By the way, it takes long time to recover from my TRAUMA since I was child. 
I never want to do same mistake over and over. Jesus said, "Always not too late" I want to believe it. I was really BAD person before almost crazy. 
But once I found the way of live better, I should keep continue although many temptations are around me all the time.
I think reading bible is a good idea to find a way to go ahead of my life.
And I am really glad to met my darling who is basically Christian.

So, now Christmas is a quite important event for me. I would like to celebrate it with my family. I might be a weak person who needs Christ's  help.
I am also glad to know Christianity, and I am appreciated to my grand mother father side who taught me Christianity.