Recent

I stopped to learn English although my English is not good enough.
I stopped to play tennis.
I stopped to sing songs at home (I sing just at chorus).
My thought has already looked my next future.
I think my life travel never stop till I died or when I cannot move myself.
My mind is always not here, always looks further way.
Why I cannot stay at same place?
I never know what will happen next. I might be very very optimistic person.
Because who knows about tomorrow, it does not make sense that worry about tomorrow.
So I do things that just I have to do.
I might lose my aim for near future, because I do not have anything that I have to do so far.

Before, I was always thinking " I have to something" but now I do not.
Maybe I got to use to New Zealand life style.
New Zealand people do not worried about their future often, I think.
Something happen, then do something for them, nothing happen, then do anything.
Maybe In Japan, we have much more crises.
In here, have a job, any job, I can alive, I hope.
If I do not have job, I have unemployment benefit, then I can alive.
But in Japan, we cannot. Nobody help me and I would suddenly be in trouble to live.
It is awful isn't it!
I can be much more optimistic here. That is enough reason for the moving.
( I think my English is not improving.)

Recently, I just spend time and day without do anything.
I should find a next aim. What shall I do? But I cannot start anything at this moment for ready to next moving, so it looks like I am stuck. But it is not too bad.
I still enjoy everything.
I had never felt such feeling before. (I do not have to do anything) How happy and lucky me!
I hope this is a time for charging my energy to next big moving if it will come.
I am very optimistic now.
(My brain does not work very well. I forget everything quick. too bad.)
Maybe I have to start new thing that I "HAVE TO DO" I don't know.

Anyway, I missed an aim for my life. (I mean I am very happy now, but I might have to do something.)