Difficult to keep my mind

It is already 11:36pm. My physically exhaustion is going away, but mentally, not.
I personally have some problem. 
They are difficult to explain even in Japanese.
However it is nearly time to have to rethink about my further life.
I mean, the clear reason for coming to New Zealand.
After moved to Morningside, I have had awful dreams sometimes, I am sure they mean a fear of my daughters.

Last night I told my darling about my dreams and my thoughts that relate to the dreams. And what do they mean. But his action was only about his fear.
When I said "I would like to back to Japan for a year." He said "I will miss you again, one year is too long and you won't be back never ever..."
He and I are totally different about family situation. He is a son and I am a mother.
I know, my daughters do not need physically help any more, they are not babies.
However they need probably a lot of mentally help.
Maybe it is too much thought of worried, but I can not stop to think about it.
And it is true.
Because when I left Japan, I said my leaving would be for six months.  
And I had an ambitious that I will get a good job in NZ, but I got my new husband instead. However getting new husband does not make any sense to them. 
They would say "What was your ambitious?" I have not got it yet.
I called Aya tonight and she said "I understand you."

My thought about an ambitious and a husband are totally different things.
It is very difficult to get an understanding from them, and it was a bit sad that my darling did not understand it too.
I said to him "When I am in trouble, you should help me." But he had no idea.
I am sure men cannot think about the relationship of mother and children.
Unfortunately we are different, but it is OK. We both need each other. 

Anyway, I have to fix my problem one day. However I have not known how to do it yet. I can just pray my daughters happiness to God. Their happiness is my mine too.